"Love causes war and causes death, breaks souls and breaks lives. It runs people into the ground, makes them behave like moronic, immoral beasts, before it dances off, leaving only destruction in its wake—hearts blown wide open for the whole world to see.
Love puts the blame on the poor souls who succumb to it.
Love, that ultimate villainess. She makes examples of us all.
And yet we still come back for more.
We keep playing the role she gives us.
For one more chance to feel alive.
Love has made me a villain. But at least now, I don’t have to be misunderstood."

Currently reading: Love, In English by Karina Halle

My last hurrah for the holidays before tomorrow leaves me lesser time to read. ;)

Vital Sign by J. L. Mac

Alexander McBride
Sadie Parker
+Jacob Parker

It’s surprising how stories with the same premise, but have been told in many different styles still send me reeling without convincing myself to appreciate it. I have seen this in movies and heard many touching stories with the themes alike yet it riveted me like i haven’t heard it before. J. L. Mac knows her way to inflict heartbreak and mend it into oblivion afterwards, she makes it impossible to get away from her books unscathed with her heartfelt writing and skillful story-telling.

'Vital Sign' is a story with a very long journey in a considerably short span of time, it is squeezed into details and abundant with raw emotions that will hold you captive like it has taken charge of another life for you. Zander and Sadie's story is dominated by grief, guilt, regret and dwelling in the past which gives them only momentary happiness. They weren't the quintessential couple and i bet no one will dare choose the path they're dealt with. However, theirs is the story that in the end will strengthen your faith to fate and believe that second chances are not so hard to find if you only seek for it wholeheartedly. And in other cases, this book can help someone who's in the same shoes as Sadie or Zander. It's truly tormenting but it was worth it.

Sadie lived by her name for more than two years after she lost her husband on a shooting incident at their very own home, she’s a very very sad and broken woman. She was self-destructing and barely living, until her and Jake’s parents forced her into meeting her deceased husband’s organ recipients thinking it will make the grieving process easier for her. But it wasn’t… it wasn’t until she met the man who now has Jake’s heart. The man who was alive and well in exchange of her husband’s death. The last man whom she should fall for, is the same key to her rebirth.

Alexander McBride feels like he did not deserve a second chance at life, but his Governor father worked his powers for him to be on top of the list of organ recipients. And now he has to deal with another guilt of meeting the widow of the man who’s heart is currently beating on his chest, but Zander did not expect that she’s the woman he’s been waiting for 29 long years to be with forever.

They are both being chased by the demons of their past and while Zander is already in the midst of moving on, Sadie’s still angry of everything. Even if they find it hard to admit, they share the same struggles and for this, their need for each other is palpable. Sadie’s afraid of loving someone besides Jake, she doesn’t want to find his replacement nor rebuild memories with another man, she cannot let go of the mere fact that her and Jake’s story has come to an end. That was what put Zander’s feelings to a test and his patience consumed so he’s already preparing to deal with the heartbreak that comes with Sadie’s stuck up life. But not wanting to really let her go, he then agreed with her need for distance and time, only because she promised to find her way back to him once she’s made herself whole again.

Even if this book depressed me for the most part, i never once doubted the happy ever after. The spark of connection from their very first meeting—even before they knew what part they played in each other’s lives—gave away that this is a love story that transcended all the odds of a very strange force of fate.

While and after reading this, it’s so difficult not to want to know Jake and Sadie’s story too which is the same thing with Zander’s history. I feel like there’s so much more hidden things meant to be revealed. Either way, this book is brilliant just the standalone way that it is.

D x
——————————-
Noteworthies:
How am I supposed to let go of Jake if there are pieces of him still out there, living on in some perfect stranger?
I am utterly and completely heartbroken that I had a fairytale life and in a split second it was stolen from me.

“So that’s where I am, Sadie. I’m tired, and I’m scared, and I’m on the edge of giving in, but I’ll hold on because I know that you’ll come through this. If I could take this from you, I would. I’d take that hurt in a heartbeat. But I can’t. All I can do is push, and squeeze, and corner you until you give in and come out of this to scream to the world that you’re still here, dammit. You may be worse for the wear, but you’re still my baby girl and you made it.”
The connection I feel to this woman was so instant. I’ve never felt anything like it. Something about her, about me, about the situation that we find ourselves in—if I believed in fate, I’d say that’s exactly what it is. If fate exists, if it’s real, I would say that somehow our journeys are the same.

“Having gone through loss like that, you can kind of spot one of your kind even in a crowd. I lost my son when he was only twelve years old. I know what it’s like walking around holding on so tight to those memories because you think you may lose them.”

“Well, it’s difficult to explain but it’s like this. You can hold onto those memories, honey, but don’t hold too tight. No need for that. You hold them too tight you’ll crush ‘em, and then they get to be something ugly. Somethin’ miserable. They become something that hurts you ‘stead of something that helps you. What you don’t realize is that whether you hold onto ‘em or not, they’re still there with you. Right there in your heart. They’re a part of you. With every breath you take, those memories are alive and well and no one ‘cept God in heaven can take that from you.”

I want her body. I want her mind. I want her heart. In many ways, I feel like it’s already mine to claim. In my sick fucking head I feel like Sadie Parker has always been mine for the taking, like she was made for me, intended for me.

Alexander McBride is both my fallen angel delivering me to hell’s gate and the blinding light that serves as my guide, my deliverance to the hereafter.

Sadie Parker makes me want more. More hours in the day. More things to make her smile. More life. More of her.

Some newly discovered part of me hopes that I’m the main character in Sadie’s ending. Not her happily ever after, because she’s already had one of those, but maybe I can be her second chance at happiness. I think she could be mine. I’d bet on it.

“I’ve always prided myself on being a man who can predict things. There are no curve balls as far as I’m concerned. Everything I do, I see coming. Except you. I never expected this. I never expected you.”

“I saw you on that beach and I knew that you had to be mine. I had to have you. I knew that you were who I was looking for. I would have waited for you forever if I had to. Whether by design or just plain dumb luck, I’m the one who was meant to find all the pieces of you so that I might put them back together. Let me put you back together, Sadie. I need you,”

"I’ve been fighting against the ghost of him every goddamned day, Sadie! Every day! It’s more than I can handle. I’m not Jake! I’m no saint. I don’t lead some virtuous life full of good deeds and friends and family who would vouch for me at the drop of a hat. I’m fighting an invisible enemy that I know I have no hopes of defeating, but here I am. I’m begging you for one ounce, one fucking iota, of hope!”

"You think I don’t hate this too? You think I don’t hate that I’m not the most deserving man to get another shot at a life that I’ve already fucked up? You think I don’t feel like shit for having his heart and now falling for his wife? You’d be sorely mistaken. I hate myself for it every time I look in the mirror. Every time I close my eyes and imagine you next to me for the rest of my existence. Every time I have to resist the urge to take your hand, bring it to my lips, and swear on my life that I can make you happy given half the chance. Every time.”

“I won’t let you take the easiest, quickest route out of my life all because you’re too damn scared to let this happen. Dammit, Sadie! I’m the one that isn’t worth a damn, but I’m willing to risk heartbreak just to try it with you.”

“I don’t hate you,” I cry. “I’m glad that you’re alive. I guess—I guess that sometimes I’m just not glad that I am.”

My first love’s heart saved my future love’s life.

"For God’s sake, Sadie, are you really going to stand here and deny me the one thing that I know I was born to do? To be? Is that what this is? Because if you are—if you insist on closing that door—I’ll be forced to tell you that facing a future without you in it is a future I want no part of. I’ll be forced to tell you that I’ll wake up every day searching for you beside me. I’ll be forced to tell you that I’ll be ruined for any other woman. Maybe I already am.”

Zander, I think we both know what I have to do. Give me time. Give me room. I’ll find my way back. -Sadie

“What is it that you were born to do, Zander?”

To mend you when the world breaks you. To keep you safe. To tell you when you’re wrong but scream to the world that you’re right. To stand beside you no matter what comes our way. To wager my next breath, against all odds if I have to, just to see you happy. To love you.”

“You’re not scared of losin’ him,” she points out softly. “You’ve already lost him and we both know that. You’re scared of findin’ you. You don’t know who you really are without Jake. I get it, okay? But you can’t stop living out of fear of what you may end up seeing.”

Zander, No amount of explaining could make what I did hurt any less. Please know that I had to do what I did. I had to leave. I never wanted to hurt you. This is Jake’s cell phone. Dial one for his voicemail. The password is the month and year of our anniversary. 1109. Just listen. In spite of myself, you are my truth. You are my constant. You are my proof of life. You are my vital sign. With you, I more than breathe—I live. Please forgive me. -Sadie

I’ve been pushed, squeezed, and cornered all the way to him. Always to him, my vital sign.
“It’s a reminder that sometimes the longest route is the most rewarding,”

Vital Sign by J. L. Mac

Alexander McBride
Sadie Parker
+Jacob Parker

It’s surprising how stories with the same premise, but have been told in many different styles still send me reeling without convincing myself to appreciate it. I have seen this in movies and heard many touching stories with the themes alike yet it riveted me like i haven’t heard it before. J. L. Mac knows her way to inflict heartbreak and mend it into oblivion afterwards, she makes it impossible to get away from her books unscathed with her heartfelt writing and skillful story-telling.

'Vital Sign' is a story with a very long journey in a considerably short span of time, it is squeezed into details and abundant with raw emotions that will hold you captive like it has taken charge of another life for you. Zander and Sadie's story is dominated by grief, guilt, regret and dwelling in the past which gives them only momentary happiness. They weren't the quintessential couple and i bet no one will dare choose the path they're dealt with. However, theirs is the story that in the end will strengthen your faith to fate and believe that second chances are not so hard to find if you only seek for it wholeheartedly. And in other cases, this book can help someone who's in the same shoes as Sadie or Zander. It's truly tormenting but it was worth it.

Sadie lived by her name for more than two years after she lost her husband on a shooting incident at their very own home, she’s a very very sad and broken woman. She was self-destructing and barely living, until her and Jake’s parents forced her into meeting her deceased husband’s organ recipients thinking it will make the grieving process easier for her. But it wasn’t… it wasn’t until she met the man who now has Jake’s heart. The man who was alive and well in exchange of her husband’s death. The last man whom she should fall for, is the same key to her rebirth.

Alexander McBride feels like he did not deserve a second chance at life, but his Governor father worked his powers for him to be on top of the list of organ recipients. And now he has to deal with another guilt of meeting the widow of the man who’s heart is currently beating on his chest, but Zander did not expect that she’s the woman he’s been waiting for 29 long years to be with forever.

They are both being chased by the demons of their past and while Zander is already in the midst of moving on, Sadie’s still angry of everything. Even if they find it hard to admit, they share the same struggles and for this, their need for each other is palpable. Sadie’s afraid of loving someone besides Jake, she doesn’t want to find his replacement nor rebuild memories with another man, she cannot let go of the mere fact that her and Jake’s story has come to an end. That was what put Zander’s feelings to a test and his patience consumed so he’s already preparing to deal with the heartbreak that comes with Sadie’s stuck up life. But not wanting to really let her go, he then agreed with her need for distance and time, only because she promised to find her way back to him once she’s made herself whole again.

Even if this book depressed me for the most part, i never once doubted the happy ever after. The spark of connection from their very first meeting—even before they knew what part they played in each other’s lives—gave away that this is a love story that transcended all the odds of a very strange force of fate.

While and after reading this, it’s so difficult not to want to know Jake and Sadie’s story too which is the same thing with Zander’s history. I feel like there’s so much more hidden things meant to be revealed. Either way, this book is brilliant just the standalone way that it is.

D x
——————————-
Noteworthies:

How am I supposed to let go of Jake if there are pieces of him still out there, living on in some perfect stranger?

I am utterly and completely heartbroken that I had a fairytale life and in a split second it was stolen from me.

“So that’s where I am, Sadie. I’m tired, and I’m scared, and I’m on the edge of giving in, but I’ll hold on because I know that you’ll come through this. If I could take this from you, I would. I’d take that hurt in a heartbeat. But I can’t. All I can do is push, and squeeze, and corner you until you give in and come out of this to scream to the world that you’re still here, dammit. You may be worse for the wear, but you’re still my baby girl and you made it.”

The connection I feel to this woman was so instant. I’ve never felt anything like it. Something about her, about me, about the situation that we find ourselves in—if I believed in fate, I’d say that’s exactly what it is. If fate exists, if it’s real, I would say that somehow our journeys are the same.

“Having gone through loss like that, you can kind of spot one of your kind even in a crowd. I lost my son when he was only twelve years old. I know what it’s like walking around holding on so tight to those memories because you think you may lose them.”

“Well, it’s difficult to explain but it’s like this. You can hold onto those memories, honey, but don’t hold too tight. No need for that. You hold them too tight you’ll crush ‘em, and then they get to be something ugly. Somethin’ miserable. They become something that hurts you ‘stead of something that helps you. What you don’t realize is that whether you hold onto ‘em or not, they’re still there with you. Right there in your heart. They’re a part of you. With every breath you take, those memories are alive and well and no one ‘cept God in heaven can take that from you.”

I want her body. I want her mind. I want her heart. In many ways, I feel like it’s already mine to claim. In my sick fucking head I feel like Sadie Parker has always been mine for the taking, like she was made for me, intended for me.

Alexander McBride is both my fallen angel delivering me to hell’s gate and the blinding light that serves as my guide, my deliverance to the hereafter.

Sadie Parker makes me want more. More hours in the day. More things to make her smile. More life. More of her.

Some newly discovered part of me hopes that I’m the main character in Sadie’s ending. Not her happily ever after, because she’s already had one of those, but maybe I can be her second chance at happiness. I think she could be mine. I’d bet on it.

“I’ve always prided myself on being a man who can predict things. There are no curve balls as far as I’m concerned. Everything I do, I see coming. Except you. I never expected this. I never expected you.”

“I saw you on that beach and I knew that you had to be mine. I had to have you. I knew that you were who I was looking for. I would have waited for you forever if I had to. Whether by design or just plain dumb luck, I’m the one who was meant to find all the pieces of you so that I might put them back together. Let me put you back together, Sadie. I need you,”

"I’ve been fighting against the ghost of him every goddamned day, Sadie! Every day! It’s more than I can handle. I’m not Jake! I’m no saint. I don’t lead some virtuous life full of good deeds and friends and family who would vouch for me at the drop of a hat. I’m fighting an invisible enemy that I know I have no hopes of defeating, but here I am. I’m begging you for one ounce, one fucking iota, of hope!”

"You think I don’t hate this too? You think I don’t hate that I’m not the most deserving man to get another shot at a life that I’ve already fucked up? You think I don’t feel like shit for having his heart and now falling for his wife? You’d be sorely mistaken. I hate myself for it every time I look in the mirror. Every time I close my eyes and imagine you next to me for the rest of my existence. Every time I have to resist the urge to take your hand, bring it to my lips, and swear on my life that I can make you happy given half the chance. Every time.”

“I won’t let you take the easiest, quickest route out of my life all because you’re too damn scared to let this happen. Dammit, Sadie! I’m the one that isn’t worth a damn, but I’m willing to risk heartbreak just to try it with you.”

“I don’t hate you,” I cry. “I’m glad that you’re alive. I guess—I guess that sometimes I’m just not glad that I am.”

My first love’s heart saved my future love’s life.

"For God’s sake, Sadie, are you really going to stand here and deny me the one thing that I know I was born to do? To be? Is that what this is? Because if you are—if you insist on closing that door—I’ll be forced to tell you that facing a future without you in it is a future I want no part of. I’ll be forced to tell you that I’ll wake up every day searching for you beside me. I’ll be forced to tell you that I’ll be ruined for any other woman. Maybe I already am.”

Zander, I think we both know what I have to do. Give me time. Give me room. I’ll find my way back. -Sadie

“What is it that you were born to do, Zander?”

To mend you when the world breaks you. To keep you safe. To tell you when you’re wrong but scream to the world that you’re right. To stand beside you no matter what comes our way. To wager my next breath, against all odds if I have to, just to see you happy. To love you.”

“You’re not scared of losin’ him,” she points out softly. “You’ve already lost him and we both know that. You’re scared of findin’ you. You don’t know who you really are without Jake. I get it, okay? But you can’t stop living out of fear of what you may end up seeing.”

Zander, No amount of explaining could make what I did hurt any less. Please know that I had to do what I did. I had to leave. I never wanted to hurt you. This is Jake’s cell phone. Dial one for his voicemail. The password is the month and year of our anniversary. 1109. Just listen. In spite of myself, you are my truth. You are my constant. You are my proof of life. You are my vital sign. With you, I more than breathe—I live. Please forgive me. -Sadie

I’ve been pushed, squeezed, and cornered all the way to him. Always to him, my vital sign.

“It’s a reminder that sometimes the longest route is the most rewarding,”

Read: Vital Sign by J. L. Mac

Beautiful beautiful book, i’m still working on my review.

This is why i thank the extra-long weekend because i was actually able to read three and a half books that kept me occupied while i took breaks from our movie marathon. Lazy days at home is the best vacation, if i am not able to travel somewhere cold. ;)

Read: Vital Sign by J. L. Mac

Beautiful beautiful book, i’m still working on my review.

This is why i thank the extra-long weekend because i was actually able to read three and a half books that kept me occupied while i took breaks from our movie marathon. Lazy days at home is the best vacation, if i am not able to travel somewhere cold. ;)

makemestfu:

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langleav:

Love & Misadventure is available online via Amazon, BN.com + The Book Depository and Barnes & Noble, Kinokuniya, Books Actually, Fully Booked and other good book stores worldwide. 

langleav:

Love & Misadventure is available online via Amazon, BN.com + The Book Depository and Barnes & Noble, Kinokuniya, Books Actually, Fully Booked and other good book stores worldwide. 

(via lovequotesrus)

Date with this nyummy Reese’s Peanut Butter Cupcake 😋 Then will go to mass after. Happy Easter! :)

Date with this nyummy Reese’s Peanut Butter Cupcake 😋 Then will go to mass after. Happy Easter! :)

Finding My Way (Beaumont Series) by Heidi McLaughlin

This series stands very close to my heart because i was enamored of Jojo and Liam’s story from the beginning that no matter what maze their relationship goes through, i am certain they’re going to find their way back together in the end. I like that particular assurance in what i read because it makes me think that it’s worth in advance while not jinxing the excitement at the same time. Heidi’s writing is what you’ll want when you peg for just a free-flowing story without so much thinking to do—simple yet engaging, cute and romantic, the conflicts jives in perfect harmony with the characters’ age and not pretentious. My kind of bedtime read.

I have one specific scene that i can recite verbatim (come on, anyone can!) when i think about this series, i have pictured it in my mind as much times as it was mentioned in the books and it is the main reason why i wish to make this series into a film. I quote:

“Hey, Jojo.”                 

“Yeah?”

"I’m going to marry you someday."

I LOVED THAT before and even more now that i get to read it straight from Liam’s POV. It makes my heart skip a beat everytime.

Finding My Way (Beaumont Series) by Heidi McLaughlin

This series stands very close to my heart because i was enamored of Jojo and Liam’s story from the beginning that no matter what maze their relationship goes through, i am certain they’re going to find their way back together in the end. I like that particular assurance in what i read because it makes me think that it’s worth in advance while not jinxing the excitement at the same time. Heidi’s writing is what you’ll want when you peg for just a free-flowing story without so much thinking to do—simple yet engaging, cute and romantic, the conflicts jives in perfect harmony with the characters’ age and not pretentious. My kind of bedtime read.

I have one specific scene that i can recite verbatim (come on, anyone can!) when i think about this series, i have pictured it in my mind as much times as it was mentioned in the books and it is the main reason why i wish to make this series into a film. I quote:

“Hey, Jojo.”

“Yeah?”

"I’m going to marry you someday."

I LOVED THAT before and even more now that i get to read it straight from Liam’s POV. It makes my heart skip a beat everytime.

Out of the Shallows (Into the Deep #2) by Samantha Young

Jake
Charley
*Claudia, Beck
*Andie, Rick
*Lowe, Matt, Denver (The Stolen)

I think that due to the long interval of this book’s release since the first, I got literally lost to Jake and Charley’s story. The things i remember were blur and i had to do a bit of rereading to catch up. At first i thought i wasn’t going to finish this because i felt sort of disconnected, like i don’t understand their story anymore. However, i had to stick with it for the sake of the benefit of the doubt. And in the end, after a series of superficial chaos, i was satisfied with the conclusion of their story. Maybe if we will be getting more of them, i prefer it to be a lot mature and a pure story of love in its third chance.

Jake and Charley’s relationship was tested many times by fate, from them needing to be together but people around them make it so difficult to achieve. This book is yet another story of Charley’s unending goal of fixing everything, sacrificing her own happiness and meeting at a compromise after getting out of the shallows.

I don’t like Charley so much in this book, because even if she tries to be selfless and giving, she has irrational reasons for doing so. She’s charming and really brave, but she can’t practice what she preach. She’s a good friend, a considerate daughter and a really loving sister and i adore her for that but she sucks at being a lover. I was too sad for Jake mostly that i just want to be the one to knock some sense into her, i never really understood why this book started with them broken up and that was the major punch in the gut.

Charley’s story revolved around the divine pact she’s made during the most difficult time of her as a little sister. A pact that ruined her second chance with Jake and her dreams of being a cop put on hold. That part sort of mended my disagreement with Her character, i understood why she lived her life conforming with the bargain she’s made which is something she just cannot tell anyone for fear of breaking the pact. It was preposterous, but i think i saw myself doing the same thing if im in her shoes.

Of course when Charley’s the one being so impossible, some people must take the place of good samaritans—that was Jake, Claudia and Beck. It was Jake’s time to grow up, adjust to Charley’s needs and never make her feel alone. Claudia and Beck were there to ease things up, bring in some fun, and sometimes engage to a heart-to-heart talk with Charley that usually strikes a valid point. I love the friendship that was formed in this book but what i love more are the people who were changed by the circumstances for the better, who were tested by fate and never gave up even if they took the longest road to reach where they want to be. I made a sensible decision to stick with this book because whether i like to admit or not, Charley and Jake made their way back to my heart and claimed a part of it.

Is it so bad though that while i was reading how Charley tells her and Jake’s story, i am mentally forming Beck and Claudia’s world too? Oftentimes than i should, in fact. I really am intrigued of their story and i hope we’d be given that privilege soon.

I like this book and i bet all the readers who hasn’t put their hands on ‘Into the Deep’ yet will love this more because they could instantly grab ‘Out of the Shallows’ next. ;)

D x
——————————-
Noteworthies:

I’m me. I’m just not yesterday’s me.

I can’t fix those mistakes, Charley. Even though it kills me that I’ve done things to hurt you, meant or not, I can’t take them away. I can’t undo it. But I can promise you this… no one will ever mean to me what you do.

If you save her, I’ll give him up. If Andie wakes up, I’ll let Jake go. I’ll choose her over him.
“I love you,” I told him softly. “I love you so much. But I can’t be with you.”

Everything that’s happened to us. Brett’s death. Me breaking up with you. The shit we went through to find each other again only for your parents and sister not to forgive me like you did. You stopped talking to Andie because of it, Andie got in an accident, you blamed yourself, you made a pact with God and now have this irrational fear, irrational but real nonetheless, which means you’re afraid we can’t be together.
“I know, I know. Your fear.” He sighed and sat back in his seat. “We can’t be together until you work it out, Charley. We can’t be together until you work it all out. Your sister, your parents, your career—you. Go home and face your sister, Supergirl.” He brought my hand to his mouth and pressed a gentle kiss upon my knuckles. “Go home and find yourself. Take all the time you need. And when you’re done and if you still want me,” he gave me a sad, crooked, boyish smile, “come and find me.”
“You won’t because it’s not about going back. It was never about going back. It was about doing something, anything, but standing still. You did that. You came to me even though you were petrified of the outcome. So now… it’s about moving forward and growing up.” She kissed my forehead. “It sucks at first, but it gets better.”
“Not to be a shit, Charley, but you’re twenty-one. We’re all trying to figure stuff out at twenty-one. You think you’re the only one who has a crisis of identity in college? You’re not. And it doesn’t mean you should put the important stuff on hold.”

"Because,” I tried to explain, “if we do this a third time, we both better be sure. Right now, I’m still trying to figure other stuff out."
Somehow the most miraculous person I ever met in my life has spent most of her life feeling unloved and neglected. She deserves to feel like no girl in the world could ever come close to her. I want her to feel that way every fucking day, and I can’t do that if I’m on tour.

It’s called sacrifice or compromise or whatever you want to name it. It boils down to one thing—what we’re willing to give up for the people we love. I thought you of all people would understand, Charley. You gave up the academy for your parents. And I get it, I do. They are what matters. What’s the point in the memories I’ll have of touring if at the end of my life, Claudia isn’t by my side? What’s the point if the person I love the most never made enough memories with me to make me feel okay about my life coming to an end? My dad had no one in the end. I don’t want that to be my story too. You understand that, right?
Yeah. The people we love are one of our dreams too. Sometimes you just can’t chase them all. So you’ve got to choose.
“A guitar won’t keep me warm at night, so something’s got to give.”

I had to make a decision and I didn’t have the luxury of time. Jake’s heart couldn’t take much more, and mine needed to learn how to cope with all the craziness that came with loving someone as much as I loved Jacob Caplin. I was fearful. But I was also excited and ready to do this, no matter if I was walking into a lifetime of drama, or a moment of rejection that would live with me forever. I was going to do this, unknown be damned.

“I take you up there, though, you’ve got to promise me it’s forever. And mean it this time.”
I crossed my heart. “Forever.”

Out of the Shallows (Into the Deep #2) by Samantha Young

Jake
Charley
*Claudia, Beck
*Andie, Rick
*Lowe, Matt, Denver (The Stolen)

I think that due to the long interval of this book’s release since the first, I got literally lost to Jake and Charley’s story. The things i remember were blur and i had to do a bit of rereading to catch up. At first i thought i wasn’t going to finish this because i felt sort of disconnected, like i don’t understand their story anymore. However, i had to stick with it for the sake of the benefit of the doubt. And in the end, after a series of superficial chaos, i was satisfied with the conclusion of their story. Maybe if we will be getting more of them, i prefer it to be a lot mature and a pure story of love in its third chance.

Jake and Charley’s relationship was tested many times by fate, from them needing to be together but people around them make it so difficult to achieve. This book is yet another story of Charley’s unending goal of fixing everything, sacrificing her own happiness and meeting at a compromise after getting out of the shallows.

I don’t like Charley so much in this book, because even if she tries to be selfless and giving, she has irrational reasons for doing so. She’s charming and really brave, but she can’t practice what she preach. She’s a good friend, a considerate daughter and a really loving sister and i adore her for that but she sucks at being a lover. I was too sad for Jake mostly that i just want to be the one to knock some sense into her, i never really understood why this book started with them broken up and that was the major punch in the gut.

Charley’s story revolved around the divine pact she’s made during the most difficult time of her as a little sister. A pact that ruined her second chance with Jake and her dreams of being a cop put on hold. That part sort of mended my disagreement with Her character, i understood why she lived her life conforming with the bargain she’s made which is something she just cannot tell anyone for fear of breaking the pact. It was preposterous, but i think i saw myself doing the same thing if im in her shoes.

Of course when Charley’s the one being so impossible, some people must take the place of good samaritans—that was Jake, Claudia and Beck. It was Jake’s time to grow up, adjust to Charley’s needs and never make her feel alone. Claudia and Beck were there to ease things up, bring in some fun, and sometimes engage to a heart-to-heart talk with Charley that usually strikes a valid point. I love the friendship that was formed in this book but what i love more are the people who were changed by the circumstances for the better, who were tested by fate and never gave up even if they took the longest road to reach where they want to be. I made a sensible decision to stick with this book because whether i like to admit or not, Charley and Jake made their way back to my heart and claimed a part of it.

Is it so bad though that while i was reading how Charley tells her and Jake’s story, i am mentally forming Beck and Claudia’s world too? Oftentimes than i should, in fact. I really am intrigued of their story and i hope we’d be given that privilege soon.

I like this book and i bet all the readers who hasn’t put their hands on ‘Into the Deep’ yet will love this more because they could instantly grab ‘Out of the Shallows’ next. ;)

D x
——————————-
Noteworthies:

I’m me. I’m just not yesterday’s me.

I can’t fix those mistakes, Charley. Even though it kills me that I’ve done things to hurt you, meant or not, I can’t take them away. I can’t undo it. But I can promise you this… no one will ever mean to me what you do.

If you save her, I’ll give him up. If Andie wakes up, I’ll let Jake go. I’ll choose her over him.

“I love you,” I told him softly. “I love you so much. But I can’t be with you.”

Everything that’s happened to us. Brett’s death. Me breaking up with you. The shit we went through to find each other again only for your parents and sister not to forgive me like you did. You stopped talking to Andie because of it, Andie got in an accident, you blamed yourself, you made a pact with God and now have this irrational fear, irrational but real nonetheless, which means you’re afraid we can’t be together.

“I know, I know. Your fear.” He sighed and sat back in his seat. “We can’t be together until you work it out, Charley. We can’t be together until you work it all out. Your sister, your parents, your career—you. Go home and face your sister, Supergirl.” He brought my hand to his mouth and pressed a gentle kiss upon my knuckles. “Go home and find yourself. Take all the time you need. And when you’re done and if you still want me,” he gave me a sad, crooked, boyish smile, “come and find me.”

“You won’t because it’s not about going back. It was never about going back. It was about doing something, anything, but standing still. You did that. You came to me even though you were petrified of the outcome. So now… it’s about moving forward and growing up.” She kissed my forehead. “It sucks at first, but it gets better.”

“Not to be a shit, Charley, but you’re twenty-one. We’re all trying to figure stuff out at twenty-one. You think you’re the only one who has a crisis of identity in college? You’re not. And it doesn’t mean you should put the important stuff on hold.”

"Because,” I tried to explain, “if we do this a third time, we both better be sure. Right now, I’m still trying to figure other stuff out."

Somehow the most miraculous person I ever met in my life has spent most of her life feeling unloved and neglected. She deserves to feel like no girl in the world could ever come close to her. I want her to feel that way every fucking day, and I can’t do that if I’m on tour.

It’s called sacrifice or compromise or whatever you want to name it. It boils down to one thing—what we’re willing to give up for the people we love. I thought you of all people would understand, Charley. You gave up the academy for your parents. And I get it, I do. They are what matters. What’s the point in the memories I’ll have of touring if at the end of my life, Claudia isn’t by my side? What’s the point if the person I love the most never made enough memories with me to make me feel okay about my life coming to an end? My dad had no one in the end. I don’t want that to be my story too. You understand that, right?

Yeah. The people we love are one of our dreams too. Sometimes you just can’t chase them all. So you’ve got to choose.

“A guitar won’t keep me warm at night, so something’s got to give.”

I had to make a decision and I didn’t have the luxury of time. Jake’s heart couldn’t take much more, and mine needed to learn how to cope with all the craziness that came with loving someone as much as I loved Jacob Caplin. I was fearful. But I was also excited and ready to do this, no matter if I was walking into a lifetime of drama, or a moment of rejection that would live with me forever. I was going to do this, unknown be damned.

“I take you up there, though, you’ve got to promise me it’s forever. And mean it this time.”
I crossed my heart. “Forever.”

❤️👍🙏

❤️👍🙏

(via bookbfquotes)

14daysinaweek:

A window library- beautiful.

14daysinaweek:

A window library- beautiful.

(via ivestopmakingsense)

siminiblocker:

New Goodreads illustration! There is supposedly a downloadable poster version they’ll be releasing as well, so keep and eye on their site, if you’re a teacher or librarian or someone who likes books. 
Also, Happy National Library Week!
Wow, I love libraries. 

siminiblocker:

New Goodreads illustration! There is supposedly a downloadable poster version they’ll be releasing as well, so keep and eye on their site, if you’re a teacher or librarian or someone who likes books. 

Also, Happy National Library Week!

Wow, I love libraries. 

(via bookbfquotes)

allofyou-allofme:

"My Darlin…"

allofyou-allofme:

"My Darlin…"

(Source: luis-alonso7, via bookbfquotes)

I’m like, who is she?! Aga aga 💔😂

I’m like, who is she?! Aga aga 💔😂

michaelfaudet:

Perfect Timing by Michael Faudet

michaelfaudet:

Perfect Timing by Michael Faudet

(via langleav)

Capturing Peace by Molly McAdams

Reagan Hudson
Coen Steele
Parker Hudson

Instant love doesn’t lure me in like a true romance that went thru time, so if i do read a love story that’s quite rushed, i always look for justifications of the ‘magical leap’ because who wants to be cheated, right? That was the biggest challenge in this book. And what made it harder to reach that target is the limited story-telling, I felt like everything was cut short because i was teased to crave for more. Molly McAdams will either render you speechless because of her wrecking tactics or she will leave you like a rabid dog desiring for more.

This is a family love story of a mother and son to a broken soldier. Reagan got pregnant in highschool and was left by her impregnator/boyfriend, Austin. She was determined to keep the baby while he chose his career over them, and that was the reason she chose to never need a man in their lives. Six years later as a single parent, Reagan felt a strange connection to the man who poured her a fresh cup of coffee on their first encounter and also happened to be her brother’s best friend. She tried to steer clear from him but the guy was relentless and even her own brother sets them up for a date. Little did she know that Coen Steele was the biggest impact that has come to their lives.

Few years after he’s served the military, Coen decided to not re-enlist himself and focus on photography instead—a hobby which turned into a full time business. But it wasn’t just his hobby and business, Coen needed a distraction and something to do when he cannot sleep everytime he’s having flashbacks. He is a broken soldier chasing for his peace which he found in Reagan and Parker.

Reagan and Coen’s story was fast and intense, which means that one or the other could fall out of love just the same. Trust was a huge challenge, and so was opening up. But the doubts of their relationship was soon vanished when both have been miserable apart, they just knew that they needed each other and whatever bond that was formed in their small family is something they couldn’t live without.

I found it so easy to be attached in this book because of Coen and Parker’s relationship, besides Reagan and Coen’s of course. Throw a kid into a couple’s story and boom, it’s a hit! Parker is the one that solidified their relationship, he was the proof of Coen’s love for Reagan and Reagan’s acceptance of Coen. Not to mention how COOL that kid is, especially on the very last scene, i couldn’t help but smile from ear to ear. HEA!

Nothing’s cooler than Molly posting the  real photos in her blog of the canvasses mentioned in the last few scenes of the book though, and learning that Coen Steele exists in real life. That this book is a story inspired by the cover boy himself, Tyler Seielstad. You just had to deal with the story’s briefness. This is one of those times i wished novellas weren’t existent so all will be written as full novels instead.

D x
——————————-
Noteworthies:

"Just remember: You’re the one who threw us away. You’re the one ruining your life. Try to bring me down with you, and I’ll say that thing isn’t mine.”

"That’s exactly my point. I compliment you, and you think it’s bullshit. I tell you that this mask you’re wearing makes you come off as someone I’m sure you’re not, and say that if I didn’t know any better, I would think you’re vain; and you automatically come to the conclusion that’s what I really think about you. You hear what you want to hear because it helps you keep up your guard.”

“Drop the front, Reagan. The tough, uncaring act isn’t flattering. I don’t know you, but from the few glimpses I’ve seen when you’ve dropped your guard, and what I’ve heard, this isn’t you. You’re protecting yourself and you don’t trust guys—­understandably—­but we’re not all bad.”

"You want to know why I want this? Why the guy who thinks relationships are a waste of time wants the girl who’s scared of them so goddamn bad?”

"Because I found someone who chases away my demons just by looking at me. I had a girl more or less fall into my arms who can make me forget everything just by saying my name. Why wouldn’t I push for this?”

"That is why I want this. That is why I put up with you when you’re being unreasonable. That is why—­after a week and a half since meeting you—­I would do anything to see where we could go. I’m not declaring my love for you, because I’m not in love with you … yet. But I’ve never met anyone like you. And that’s not some bullshit line meant to make you fall for me. I never expected to find you; I didn’t know someone like you existed. I never knew there could be a relief from the agony I go through every day, and I don’t know what I did to deserve it. But after having that relief, after having you near me … Reagan, I crave you. And I can tell you right now it isn’t just because you silence my demons. I crave the peace you give me, yeah … but I crave your laugh, your love for your son, and this more.”

"Yeah, Ray. What he told you that night … that’s about as honest as he can get with what happened, and what’s going on with him. Knowing that he’s not keeping anything from you … and having seen how good he is with Parker. I think you’re just as good for him as he is for you.”

"We can have this argument a thousand more times than we already have, Duchess, and I’m still going to be here, fighting for our chance. What Parker said scared you today. Not me. You. But like I said, I know you don’t want to break up. I know you want this just as bad as I do. We can go back a few steps, we can slow things down. I won’t come over, I won’t stay the night … whatever it takes for you not to be scared.”

"This isn’t some insecurity of mine that you will leave me. This isn’t me being ridiculous because I don’t want to lose you. I can’t have Parker lose you, do you understand? I can’t have him fall in love with you and lose you! It seems dumb to you, it may seem dumb to everyone … but his heart is my priority … not mine.”

"I can’t promise a future because I’ve seen too many lives cut short. Nothing is certain. But with what you know about me, with how I feel about you; you can be assured that leaving you—­leaving the woman who silences my demons—­is the last thing I want. You asked me why I pushed so hard for this … do you not see me still fighting for us? Fighting after only a ­couple weeks for something that neither of us can guarantee?”

"Then we’re right where we should be, Duchess, because I’m nowhere near perfect.”

And as I stared at the two of them from behind the lens of my camera, a feeling unlike anything I’d ever experienced washed over me. It was calming, freeing, and I knew I would do anything to make it last. Parker laughed loudly at something Reagan said to him as I changed the setting on my camera, and the sound filled me—­making me smile. I quickly captured the moment before it could end, and finally realized what the feeling was. Peace.

"You don’t have to today; you don’t have to ever. But, Coen, if I chase your demons away … if you can sleep when you’re with me … maybe just talking to me will help. I won’t judge you, I won’t try to fix you, I just want to be there for you.”                 

Everything’s fast with us, but fast feels right when I’m with you.” Never had truer words been spoken.

"I didn’t think I deserved happiness, not after that, and not until I met you.”
“I am losing my mind without you. I would choose having flashbacks of that mission … every night for the rest of my life in a heartbeat if it meant I could have you two for the rest of our forever. A night of not remembering is heaven, but that”—­he pointed to the picture of the three of us—­“is my peace. You and Parker are my peace. You’re my life. My family. I can’t live without you, please don’t ask me to keep doing it.”

Capturing Peace by Molly McAdams

Reagan Hudson
Coen Steele
Parker Hudson

Instant love doesn’t lure me in like a true romance that went thru time, so if i do read a love story that’s quite rushed, i always look for justifications of the ‘magical leap’ because who wants to be cheated, right? That was the biggest challenge in this book. And what made it harder to reach that target is the limited story-telling, I felt like everything was cut short because i was teased to crave for more. Molly McAdams will either render you speechless because of her wrecking tactics or she will leave you like a rabid dog desiring for more.

This is a family love story of a mother and son to a broken soldier. Reagan got pregnant in highschool and was left by her impregnator/boyfriend, Austin. She was determined to keep the baby while he chose his career over them, and that was the reason she chose to never need a man in their lives. Six years later as a single parent, Reagan felt a strange connection to the man who poured her a fresh cup of coffee on their first encounter and also happened to be her brother’s best friend. She tried to steer clear from him but the guy was relentless and even her own brother sets them up for a date. Little did she know that Coen Steele was the biggest impact that has come to their lives.

Few years after he’s served the military, Coen decided to not re-enlist himself and focus on photography instead—a hobby which turned into a full time business. But it wasn’t just his hobby and business, Coen needed a distraction and something to do when he cannot sleep everytime he’s having flashbacks. He is a broken soldier chasing for his peace which he found in Reagan and Parker.

Reagan and Coen’s story was fast and intense, which means that one or the other could fall out of love just the same. Trust was a huge challenge, and so was opening up. But the doubts of their relationship was soon vanished when both have been miserable apart, they just knew that they needed each other and whatever bond that was formed in their small family is something they couldn’t live without.

I found it so easy to be attached in this book because of Coen and Parker’s relationship, besides Reagan and Coen’s of course. Throw a kid into a couple’s story and boom, it’s a hit! Parker is the one that solidified their relationship, he was the proof of Coen’s love for Reagan and Reagan’s acceptance of Coen. Not to mention how COOL that kid is, especially on the very last scene, i couldn’t help but smile from ear to ear. HEA!

Nothing’s cooler than Molly posting the real photos in her blog of the canvasses mentioned in the last few scenes of the book though, and learning that Coen Steele exists in real life. That this book is a story inspired by the cover boy himself, Tyler Seielstad. You just had to deal with the story’s briefness. This is one of those times i wished novellas weren’t existent so all will be written as full novels instead.

D x
——————————-
Noteworthies:

"Just remember: You’re the one who threw us away. You’re the one ruining your life. Try to bring me down with you, and I’ll say that thing isn’t mine.”

"That’s exactly my point. I compliment you, and you think it’s bullshit. I tell you that this mask you’re wearing makes you come off as someone I’m sure you’re not, and say that if I didn’t know any better, I would think you’re vain; and you automatically come to the conclusion that’s what I really think about you. You hear what you want to hear because it helps you keep up your guard.”

“Drop the front, Reagan. The tough, uncaring act isn’t flattering. I don’t know you, but from the few glimpses I’ve seen when you’ve dropped your guard, and what I’ve heard, this isn’t you. You’re protecting yourself and you don’t trust guys—­understandably—­but we’re not all bad.”

"You want to know why I want this? Why the guy who thinks relationships are a waste of time wants the girl who’s scared of them so goddamn bad?”

"Because I found someone who chases away my demons just by looking at me. I had a girl more or less fall into my arms who can make me forget everything just by saying my name. Why wouldn’t I push for this?”

"That is why I want this. That is why I put up with you when you’re being unreasonable. That is why—­after a week and a half since meeting you—­I would do anything to see where we could go. I’m not declaring my love for you, because I’m not in love with you … yet. But I’ve never met anyone like you. And that’s not some bullshit line meant to make you fall for me. I never expected to find you; I didn’t know someone like you existed. I never knew there could be a relief from the agony I go through every day, and I don’t know what I did to deserve it. But after having that relief, after having you near me … Reagan, I crave you. And I can tell you right now it isn’t just because you silence my demons. I crave the peace you give me, yeah … but I crave your laugh, your love for your son, and this more.”

"Yeah, Ray. What he told you that night … that’s about as honest as he can get with what happened, and what’s going on with him. Knowing that he’s not keeping anything from you … and having seen how good he is with Parker. I think you’re just as good for him as he is for you.”

"We can have this argument a thousand more times than we already have, Duchess, and I’m still going to be here, fighting for our chance. What Parker said scared you today. Not me. You. But like I said, I know you don’t want to break up. I know you want this just as bad as I do. We can go back a few steps, we can slow things down. I won’t come over, I won’t stay the night … whatever it takes for you not to be scared.”

"This isn’t some insecurity of mine that you will leave me. This isn’t me being ridiculous because I don’t want to lose you. I can’t have Parker lose you, do you understand? I can’t have him fall in love with you and lose you! It seems dumb to you, it may seem dumb to everyone … but his heart is my priority … not mine.”

"I can’t promise a future because I’ve seen too many lives cut short. Nothing is certain. But with what you know about me, with how I feel about you; you can be assured that leaving you—­leaving the woman who silences my demons—­is the last thing I want. You asked me why I pushed so hard for this … do you not see me still fighting for us? Fighting after only a ­couple weeks for something that neither of us can guarantee?”

"Then we’re right where we should be, Duchess, because I’m nowhere near perfect.”

And as I stared at the two of them from behind the lens of my camera, a feeling unlike anything I’d ever experienced washed over me. It was calming, freeing, and I knew I would do anything to make it last. Parker laughed loudly at something Reagan said to him as I changed the setting on my camera, and the sound filled me—­making me smile. I quickly captured the moment before it could end, and finally realized what the feeling was. Peace.

"You don’t have to today; you don’t have to ever. But, Coen, if I chase your demons away … if you can sleep when you’re with me … maybe just talking to me will help. I won’t judge you, I won’t try to fix you, I just want to be there for you.”

Everything’s fast with us, but fast feels right when I’m with you.” Never had truer words been spoken.

"I didn’t think I deserved happiness, not after that, and not until I met you.”

“I am losing my mind without you. I would choose having flashbacks of that mission … every night for the rest of my life in a heartbeat if it meant I could have you two for the rest of our forever. A night of not remembering is heaven, but that”—­he pointed to the picture of the three of us—­“is my peace. You and Parker are my peace. You’re my life. My family. I can’t live without you, please don’t ask me to keep doing it.”